Understanding Security Through a Child’s Eyes

Are you familiar with Charles M Shulz’s classic comic strip Peanuts?

Linus Van Pelt is the sagacious friend who stuns Charlie Brown and the gang with his battery of philosophical and intellectual quips. Despite being the “adult” in the gang, however, Linus is always clutching his precious blanket while sucking his thumb on the other. So, why does Linus, who embodies wisdom beyond his years, need the blanket anyway?

A child’s attachment to a particular object – a stuffed animal, pillow, or blanket – finds its roots in the child’s early socialization and exploration stages, which begins at around six months old. At this stage, babies are already forming emotional attachments with their parents or primary caregivers.

With improved motor skills, babies will try all sorts of tricks to get their parents’ or caregivers’ undivided attention and response. Experts say that this coveted response is crucial in building your baby’s trust.

As babies grow into toddlers, they become increasingly interested in people and their surroundings. They are ready to communicate, learn, play, and go out into the world with their newly acquired skills.

However, despite their increasing emotional and physical independence, toddlers continue to seek comfort to recreate the feeling of security they had with their parents. Through security items, toddlers can revisit the same sense of care and nurturing they felt during infancy. Therefore, your child’s handpicked stuffed animal, baby blanket, or pacifier help with the “transition” from the safety of mommy’s embrace to standing on their own two feet.

There is no need to worry about a child’s attachment toward an object as long as it does not interfere with the daily functioning of the child. It is still developmentally appropriate or acceptable for children from ages 0 to six to have security items.

The longing for a security item only proves that a child is a smart little one and has created a substitute to help him or her feel the parental comfort when mom or dad are not available. Moreover, kids will gradually let go of their security items once they gain adequate trust in their caregivers and confidence in themselves and their environment.

In some extreme cases, a child becomes overly dependent on the security item, suffering from severe emotional anxiety and/or physical dysfunction in its absence. If this happens, seeking the assistance of a child expert might already be necessary.

Here are some ideas you can try to help your children part gradually and amicably with their beloved blankie or stuffed toy:

-      Tell your child that she can have her security object anywhere around the house, but not in school or at parties.

-      Do not allow your child to watch violent or scary movies and TV programs. The tension will push your kid to seek the calming effect of the security item.

-      Never take a security item from your child during times of distress.

-      Constantly hug and hold your child. Kids will have prolonged need for their security items when adoration and love are not available.

Let your child decide for himself when he wants to let go of his comfort objects. Pay attention to the telltale signs that your child is ready to give up the comfort object on his own (for instance, when he leaves the object behind more often, or when he begins to take interest in other objects like books) and act on them right away. Tossing the habit on his own will be his first step to assertion and independence. Be there to support him.

http://smartparenting.pan100.net/?e=kevin121554@yahoo.com

This audio/eBook package is designed for parents of the new century. It is packed with all the necessary information that parents of today will surely need. It is updated with the current ideas and studies that pertain to parenting and child psychology.

About the Author

Kevin Hensey has written articles regarding personal development.
His website is:
www-powerbooks.com

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